Giggles & Grins & LOL

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Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby wren on October 29th, 2011, 9:11 am

Whatever makes us Giggle, Grin, or Laugh Out Loud!

A vampire bat flapped in from the night covered in fresh blood
and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began pestering
him about where he got it.

He told them to knock it off and let him get some sleep but they persisted.

"OK, follow me," he finally said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of
bats behind him.

Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest
full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around
him.

"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

"Good," said the first bat, "Because I DIDN'T!" :lol:
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby TomEC on October 31st, 2011, 1:32 am

Good one Wren! :lol:

Another one in the black humor department:

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night.
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Yeah, I know. I'm despicable.
“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” -Victor Hugo
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby wren on October 31st, 2011, 9:29 am

TomEC wrote:Good one Wren! :lol:

Another one in the black humor department:

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night.
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Yeah, I know. I'm despicable.


Giggle...but the temptation...to keep a man warm, of course! Image
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby grlnxtdr29 on October 31st, 2011, 2:07 pm

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says...Does this taste Funny to you?
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby Denise on November 1st, 2011, 2:42 pm

LOL, you guys are sick! :lol: Yes, I'm laughing, too, does that make me sick?
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby susan60625 on November 13th, 2011, 1:13 pm

TWENTY DOLLARS

On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new husband and asked
for $20.00 for their first lovemaking
encounter. In his highly aroused state,
her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was
Surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
during the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that,
at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another
position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning,
and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling
nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for more than
three decades she had 'charged' him for sex,
these holdings had multiplied and these were the
results of her savings and investments.

Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing,
I would have given you all my business!'

That's when she shot him.


I know, I didn’t see this coming either
"It's staked and baked, Jo. We're not pork chops." T. Argeneau :D
"Ohhhh, glow in the dark. Good choice." D. Notte
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby wren on November 13th, 2011, 1:26 pm

susan60625 wrote:That's when she shot him.

I know, I didn’t see this coming either


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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby tkw5002 on November 14th, 2011, 6:01 pm

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her 40th birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then, it was off to a movie - the latest Disney and what a fabulous adventure!

Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?" One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size." The moral of this story is: When a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he will still get it wrong.
At Last A Love Affair He Can Really Sink His Teeth Into


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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby wren on November 16th, 2011, 1:28 am

An 80-year-old lady was marrying for the fourth time. A newspaper reporter asked if she would mind talking about her husbands and what they did for a living. She smiled and said "My first husband was a banker Then I married a circus ringmaster, and next was a preacher. Now, in my 80's, I’m marrying a funeral director.

When asked why the four men had such diverse careers, she explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go! ;)
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Re: Giggles & Grins & LOL

Postby susan60625 on November 16th, 2011, 2:14 pm

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London's most expensive hotels.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00.

She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast".

The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."

'But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager. He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have top entertainers from all over the country performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00."

''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."


Don't mess with Senior Citizens
"It's staked and baked, Jo. We're not pork chops." T. Argeneau :D
"Ohhhh, glow in the dark. Good choice." D. Notte
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