Lynsay Sands Newsletter
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A Note From Lynsay

Well... there is a lot going on here or at least that's what my assistant Terri keeps telling me. I'll qualify this statement by explaining that I have my head buried in copy edits at the moment so I'm a little focussed on the things directly in front of my nose, which happens to be my newsletter right now. It has been some time since I sent out a newsletter so I felt it was long overdue. Read on

Upcoming Releases

June 8, 2010: The following e-books will be released: Love is Blind, The Perfect Wife, The Reluctant Reformer, What She Wants, Love Bites, Single White Vampire and Tall, Dark & Hungry.

June 22, 2010: The following e-books will be released: The Brat and The Chase

June 29, 2010: Harper Collins will be reissuing Love Bites, Single White Vampire and Tall, Dark & Hungry. This is good news for anyone who has had difficulty finding a copy of these stories.

July, 2010: The following e-books is scheduled to be released: Bliss

August 31, 2010: Born To Bite, the thirteenth book in the Argeneau/Rogue Hunter series, will be coming out this September. Armand Argeneau has been living on a farm squirrelled away from public life for decades without anyone bothering him. Until now that is. Lucian has been kind enough to volunteer Armand to babysit Eshe d'Aureus in order to protect her from a rogue vampire out for revenge. At least that's the story he's told. In reality, Eshe was sent to Armand on assignment to find clues to explain his many wives' 'accidental' deaths. This installment of the Argeneau/Rogue Hunter series will also answer the unanswered questions from Nicholas's story, The Renegade Hunter.

November 30, 2010: Hungry For You, the fourteenth book in the Argeneau/Rogue Hunter series will be coming out this December. It involves the last of the Willan sisters, Alex, and one of Martine Argeneau's older sons, Cale. Alex is a successful chef and restauranteur trying to expand her business, unfortunately the new location's debut seems to be riddled with bad luck. Can Cale, a successful european chef . . . er . . . businessman, help her keep her business afloat and still keep her frazzled attention long enough to see him for who he really is . . . the love of her life?

Contest #13 For Some of Lynsay's Swag!

At this point, no one's heard much about Armand. He has remained outside the Argeneau's inner circle for some time. About the only thing we know is that he doesn't see his children and he's lost 3 wives. Basically, he could be anyone or anything. However, there's an excerpt from Born To Bite posted on my website and I want you to read it and tell me which actor you think would make a good Armand? Name the actor, describe why in a maximum of one paragraph and submit it to Terri by midnight on Tuesday, June 15th. The winners will get a promotional bag from the publisher.

For example - I think Jackie Chan would make a great Armand. He has lost 3 wives therefore Armand would to be able to defend himself and his family at a moment's notice like Kung Fu Panda. He would have to have a sense of humor to survive his tragedies and be so long lived. He would have to be a bundle of energy to manage a farm like he does... you get the picture. <G>

Argeneau Character Crossword

This crossword is based on Lynsay's Argeneau series and the characters you know and love. View Crossword

The Worst Gift Stories

These are the entries sent in by readers for March's newsletter contest. Please vote on the best of the 'worst gift ever' stories you read and send your vote in to Terri by midnight on June 8th. Just like American Idol, you get to vote and choose the winner yourselves!

From Hubbies And Such…

1) I was turning 17 and my boyfriend of a little over a year said he wanted to take me to get my birthday gift. So, he picked me up and drove me to... McDonald's?!?! So I thought he wanted to get something to eat before we get my gift. Nope, he ordered me a small fry, which he told me WAS my gift! Seriously, he bought me a small, not even a medium or large fry!! He said he knew I loved their fries and because my parents didn't let me eat there very often he thought I'd like it. Everyone in my high school called me "small fry" for the rest of the year! It was terrible. Needless to say we didn't last very long after that. LOL

2) My husband has never been very good at gift giving. Soon after our third daughter was born we moved in to a big house. It had five bedrooms, three full baths, huge family room, living room and all the other things homes have and an in ground swimming pool that was right off of the family room. There I was trying to take care of three girls, one a new baby and this monster home and on top of that decorate it. So for Mother's Day that year my husband decided to go all out for me. So after church he took the older two girls and went shopping. After they came home they set up the patio for lunch. Then he had me cover my eyes to go out to the patio. I was so excited, I just couldn't believe my wonderful man went out and did something grand for me. (Normally, he forgets birthdays, holidays and anniversaries) I open my eyes and look around, I didn't see anything. I asked him where is my gift? On the table was a box with a new electric chainsaw and he also got a new gas grill that he put a bow on it ( I don't grill). I didn't know what to do. He thought if he got me the electric chainsaw that I could help him with cutting up wood for the new fireplace. (like I didn't have anything else to do with my time) And the grill, well I have no idea what he was thinking. So that is my worst gift story. From then on, I got my own gifts.

3) I have an ex that before he was an ex, gave me a two in one gift really. It was a used, Yes ladies, a used pair of his ex-girlfriends panties. And to make the gift extra special, a re-gifted card that his grandmother gave to him on his birthday. I know this because he crossed out his name then added mine and gave me a new envelope. Now I could deal with a re-gifted card but re-gifting used panties?! Well, that’s just weird and gross.

4) Well, several years ago (before I met my husband) I was dating this fellow for almost a year and Christmas was coming up. I really liked this guy and knew he loved 70s rock so I saved up and got him the Led Zeppelin boxed CD set. I wasn't expecting the world in return (you never should), but maybe dinner out and a gift certificate to my favorite store or something! No, that's not what he gave me. I got one candlestick. No, not a pair, ONE. What do you do with one candlestick?! Oh, and no candle, either. He claimed he didn't want to get me the wrong scent or color so didn't get me one. Could be why we only lasted a few more months! ;)

5) The worst gift I ever received was a bowling ball from an old boyfriend. It was so ugly-light and dark grey and white swirls-it reminded me of pigeon poop. Why he thought I wanted one of those, I will never know-I had never been bowling before and didn’t want to learn. After all, with my long nails it was hard to grasp the ball. And he wasn't even a bowler. Talk about being clueless.

6) I love my husband...but I will have to say at Christmas three years ago (I think) had to be the worst for gifts. I know he meant well and had been getting annoyed with me about my reading before bed with the light on or the occasion that I watch TV before going to sleep. In thinking I would be overjoyed with his idea he gave me these HUGE headphones that were cordless, you couldn't lay your head back and the ear part encompassed the entire sides of my head. I could do nothing but laugh. His second gift was of course a book light. Unfortunately, these book lights just aren't meant for paperbacks (too heavy) and it still didn't help because I would have to hold it up just to be able to see the page and it would be bright enough to bother him. It was pretty funny and he made up for it by buying me the Astro start for my car. His intentions were good.

7) I just celebrated my 40th anniversary this year so it's hard to pick the "worst" gift I ever received. It seems my husband's goal is to try to out due his terrible gifts of the past with each passing holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc.
It's really been a tough job for him because his "worst" gift so far happened Christmas of 1973, my older son had turned one 3 weeks earlier and I was expecting our second son who was due in July 1974. My wonderful (in other ways) husband decided that the perfect gift was a vacuum cleaner (by the way I HATE to clean the house - fortunately that meant I spent a LOT of time reading to my boys and they were excellent readers and read to their own children daily). Other years he tried to surpass this wonderful gift but the mark has fallen short (not by much but still short).
In fairness the best gift he ever gave me was when he was getting out of the Navy in 1971 and sent me one rose at work with a note that said "One rose for your one and only last day of work". I still have the rose AND the note (just to remind him) and guess what - I'm still working. When the boys were little, I worked nights (so we could do all that reading during the day - Dr. Seuss for the boys and romance for me!). As you can see he really has my best interest at heart and that what really counts.
I guess that means that "worst present" is all in one's perspective. (The vacuum was still the worst).

8) It was in the early 90's, Tom and I had been married a year or so. I always tell him what I want for Christmas, but he is a man, need I say more. He bought me windshield wiper blades, double sided! To this day, I remind him of it at Christmas time.

9) March 16th 1999- Three days after getting married to my high school sweetheart I turned 19. I was SO excited for my first birthday as a married woman, surely this was going to be a great one! As I worked the night shift my wonderful new husband rushed home to see me before I left for the night and I was anxiously awaiting my gift. I’m sure he could see the disappointment on face when he told me “I hurried home to see you before you left for work and I didn’t have time to get you anything!” Excuse me, not even a card? I stormed out of the house and cried all the way to work. At 7:00 the next morning I got a call on my way home from work from my husband telling me he was sorry and that he
had my birthday present setting in the chair in the living room. Excitement shot through me and I couldn’t wait to get home to see what I was getting. Oh man, it was going to be good. It had to be after getting nothing. I pulled into the drive, ran through the door straight to the living room where my birthday present was waiting! As I rushed over to the chair where my gifts were setting I found a water hose reel, a bag of grass seed, a cheap wooden hall tree (you know, to hang all my hats and coats on!) and last but definitely NOT least were 2 CD’s that he bought, opened and listened to before he gave them to me! NOTHING was wrapped and no card. Anger shot through me and made me appreciate my gift of nothing from the night before. I called him hysterically crying asking him where the real gift was. He said he got me things WE needed for our house! Men! It has been almost 11 years now and believe it or not I am still with him! This will be my BIG 3-0 this year so we’ll see how he does on this one!

10) The worst gift I ever received was from my husband the first year we were married. He gave me as a holiday gift a 10 pack of Bic stick pens from the dollar store. He said it was because I could never find a pen when I needed one. I explained that as thoughtful as it was I didn’t consider it gift material. He has done much better since.

11) Okay - this is three husbands ago....yeah, I'm one of those who likes everything. So, the man in all his glorious wisdom asked me what I would like for Christmas (oh, keep in mind this is 1979 - our "first Christmas" as a married couple) and I wrote down several different Counted Cross Stitch books that I wanted really bad. We were both sill in university and I didn't have anything on the list that was over $4.00. I was so excited come Christmas day knowing that he would have picked out one of the books...but NOOOOOOOO - I got a damn sleeping blanket...what is a sleeping blanket you ask? Well - a couple of years ago they resurfaced as "Snuggies"...yep, I got a blanket robe p.o.s. that I laughed at and then said where's my book.. I wanted a stinking $4.00 book and instead I got a blanket robe. I told him to take it back to Wal-Mart and get my damn book if he knew what was good for him. Then I found out it was given to him as a gift! We divorced 2 years later after a few more "happy times" like that...btw, he got the tapes he wanted from me...I hate Snuggies commercials!

12) This is a story about a gift my ex-husband gave our daughter for Christmas when she was 5 years old. We had been divorced since she was just about two years old. He sent her this huge wooden clock with a picture of a guy playing golf on it. Now, my daughter didn't even know how to tell time yet. I know he re-gifted something to her that he had received. I was so upset that he gave her something so inappropriate for her, but you know she absolutely loved that stupid clock!! I had to put it up on her wall right away when she opened it. She showed it to everyone. She still talks about that clock (she's 28 now). That's all for now. Thanks for bringing back these memories for me. I laugh each time I think of them

13) The worst present I have ever received was this last Christmas from my mother... inside a pretty bag, wrapped up in beautiful paper and bows was a potato ricer. This coupled with a dictionary from my boyfriend led to the most boring Xmas I have ever had... but at least I could make mashed potatoes whilst reading out their definition.

Traumatized As Children…

14) I think the worst gift I have ever gotten was a Tinkerbell nightgown on my 28th birthday. It was several sizes too small (possibly because it was intended for my daughter whose birthday is a week later). Unsurprisingly my daughter got the new digital camera that I wanted. This would have been fine except she was ABSOLUTELY NOT (her words not mine, LOL, seven year olds) willing to trade

15) The worst gift I've ever gotten was when I was 13 my uncle who I spent EVERY SINGLE weekend with... usually in a bathing suit on his boat, decided to get me an XXL turtle neck sweater for Christmas. We lived in South Florida and I was nowhere near that size, it looked more like a sweater dress. Not only was it the way wrong size and completely useless for the climate, but it was the ugliest maroon and dark blue horizontal stripe you've ever seen. By the way... my sister got a really cute t-shirt from him that Christmas.

16) My cousin got me a hat with a feather in it for my 14th birthday. It was a mixture of fluorescent yellow, orange and olive green... and the feather was blue!!! As a child I was painfully shy and didn't like attention so wearing that hat would have been a bad idea. Fortunately a couple of weeks later we had the city carnival and my cousin asked if he could wear it. I gladly gave it back to him and told him he could keep it for as long as he liked. He has been wearing that hat for every carnival ever since.

17) On my 10th birthday my paternal grandmother gave me a blue bag that once was part of a luggage set she had owned in the early 70's. It was bright blue (you could never miss it) and was made of fake leather. I still shudder thinking about it.

18) We were living on a small farm when I was younger. For my 8th birthday, my parents bought me a black pony named Smokey. Seems like an awesome gift, right? Except for the fact that my mother was terrified that I would get killed on said pony... I was forbidden to touch him, let alone ride him. So, basically, I was given a perfectly good pony that I could only look at from the outside of the fence.

19) The absolute worst gift I've ever received was a birthday present, back in the late 80's. I was only a kid but I'd already learned to dread the plastic shopping bag-wrapped gifts from this one relative. That year, the relative outdid herself. I got two pairs of short shorts from the 70's, one pink pair, one white pair, both edged with white piping and out-of-style white blouse...with a serious case of ring-around-the-collar. There really are no words to express your feelings when you receive a gift like that! I think I would prefer to be referred to as 'anonymous' this time around, please and thank you. :)

From Loved Ones… Really?!

20) The worst gift I ever got was about four years ago at Christmas time. My aunt had a lot of things going on at that time and totally forgot to buy me a gift so she found some make up in her room that she thought was new and put it together with all the change she could find in the bottom of her purse in a fancy drawstring Christmas bag. She actually gave that to me, instead of just telling me that she ran out of time and she hadn't picked anything out. The worst thing is someone had already tried out the makeup.

21) The worst gift I have ever received was a tire pump for Christmas when I had my truck. Thanks for the gift right. Well I was having trouble with my tires going flat but come on really what kind of gift is that?

22) When I was about sixteen my Grandmother gave me this pale pink dotted swiss see thru, with ruffles everywhere, dress. You were supposed to wear some sort of slip thing under it. Now I must be related to Terri, because I am definitely the no make-up, tree climbing, outdoors kind of person and my favorite colors are brown and green. My mother made me wear the dress to church just so my grandmother could see it. Oh, there was a matching pink ribbon for my hair! I can safely tell this story now because my Grandmother passed on several years ago.

23) I was in Jr. High... and my mother, thinking that I'm a quirky/fun girl, bought me a unique sweater vest and blouse for Christmas.
The thing was actually just a couple of square pieces of knitted fabric, that were stitched together a little across each "shoulder" area, and from the "armhole" down on each side. It was kind of a silver-blue color but had threads of salmon weaved into it. The blouse was solid salmon colored. If that doesn't sound awful enough... the back of the sweater vest was knitted smoothly, but the undivided front was just one large loop of yarn after another. The yarn was some type of fuzzy unfinished material... it was thin in some places, and thick and fuzzier in others... all with this very narrow salmon yarn weaving in and out. I absolutely adore cats. Always have, always will... but I was not fond of wearing a sweater that looked like the cat had hacked up fur-balls all over it!
My mother was so proud of her "find" that of course, I had to wear it to school. And, of course, kids can be cruel. They thought it looked like the cat hacked it up, too. But, I just smiled and told them that this was what my mother thought was "funky". I thought of Dolly Parton and her "coat of many colors" and knew that what my mother thought was more important to me than what some of the kids at school thought. My true friends didn't say -anything- about my sweater, which made me want to giggle...
I am now, well past my college years... I have moved 4 times... I've lost more things than I can count. But I still have that sweater vest!

24) The worst gift I ever received was this horrible peach outfit. It kind of reminded me of those puffy outfits you see Shakespeare wearing in the history books. It was a one-piece body suit that looked like a wife beater on top and somewhere between a pair of shorts and a hot air balloon on the bottoms. It billowed out at the waist and had a cuff around the thigh. My favorite grandmother had given me the outfit and I felt compelled to wear it outside for her at least once then conveniently misplaced it. Still can't imagine this horrible outfit? Anyone ever seen Ever After with Drew Barrymore and the get up she was wearing under the dress? Well imagine that but just peach and way more puffy and no sleeves.

25) Well I got to say the worst gift I received was on one of my birthdays. I don't remember the birthday, but I remember the gift. Some things you just can't forget. When I first same this "gift" I was excited, because it was in a nice big box. Excited to open the box, I ripped the paper right off in the first rip as soon as the box was put in front of me. Expecting something really good, I open the box to find garbage. Yes, garbage! I believe there was some used paper plates, a banana peel and some other things. I of course was speechless, until my parents burst out laughing. They thought it would be funny to pretend that the only present was the big box then have fun with my reaction. Apparently I didn't disappoint.

26) The worst gift I ever received was a package of AA batteries for my brother’s toy from my grandmother. My husband said he received a wrapped empty box from his sister. He was so devastated that he still talks about it to this day about how traumatized he was at the age of 6, he's now 30.

27) The worst present I ever received was underwear from a relative... bought at a lawn sale... enough said....

28) My most awful gift was a gift that gets passed around the family. Even though we are Canadian our American family included us in this very ‘Patriotic’ gift a couple of years ago. It is a nutcracker made out of a caricature of Hillary Clinton (EWWW!). We passed it along back down South. Nuf said!

29) One year for Christmas I received a glade plug in from my step cousin and her husband. They were both drug addicts at the time so before coming for Christmas they stopped at the store and picked random things. I received the plug in because she knows I like candles. I was 22 at the time who when not away for school lives with my parents. We still make jokes til this day about the plug in. I said I got a bonus because it included a coupon for refills.

30) At Christmas time when I was a little girl, my family would go to my grandparents house every Christmas Eve to exchange gifts with Grams and Gramps and all the aunts, uncles & cousins. I come from a very large family so it was always chaotic and fun. Well, Grams was very frugal with her money and was always looking for bargains. One year when I was about 10 years old, I got this beautiful little jewelry box from Grams that included a brush & comb set in it. You know, one of those little white jewelry boxes with the little ballerina that spun when you opened the lid. Anyway, I was very excited to get it. I was the only girl with six brothers so I was very happy to get something girly. However, when I took the hairbrush out of the box, I noticed it had something a little extra - the brush had hair in it! I showed it to my mother and she told me not to say anything about it. She didn't want to hurt Grams' feelings. My Grams gave me a used hairbrush for Christmas!! LOL!! I never did use the hairbrush - Mom threw it out - but I surely loved my jewelry box - I discovered it had been used too - they had actually repainted it so it looked like new. I didn't care though - I loved it!
Well, many years later, this same grandmother gave my new husband of less than a year a shirt for Christmas. When he first initially opened up the box, it looked ok. However, upon further inspection, there was a little note on the inside of the shirt that said "Not for Sale - Display Purposed Only." And the shirt had these little holes all over it where it looked like it had been stapled onto something, it was frayed on the end and had distinctive sun fading on the front. What we found out later was that Grams had gone to one of her favorite discount stores where they liked to display items by stapling them to display signs but were not supposed to be sold. You see, my Grams was a bit of a cleptomaniac. She figured that if something wasn't going to be used for anything, she was allowed to take it. Since these items were just for display and not for sale, she helped herself to these types of items. She didn't think of it as stealing because the store wasn't going to make any money on them anyway. This shirt must have been on one of the signs posted in the front window of the store because of the sun fading and all the holes. Plus, the shirt was about 10 sizes too small! It was obviously made for a child - not a 6'4" 200lb. man! LOL!

31) The worst gift I've received was just this year for Christmas. My grandma gave me a $15.00 Walmart gift card. I'm like really what can you buy for $15.00? You can maybe buy an old movie but I own so many I didn't need another one. So all I could get was 3 strings of beads and some wire for my jewelry making supplies but I still needed to pitch in like $6.00. It was pathetic.

You Don’t Know Me!

32) My worst gift (to my mind) was a hammer. From my new stepmother, first Christmas that she was married to my Dad. Not that a hammer or any kind of tool is bad. I LIKE tools. REAL tools! This hammer was very small covered with blue and yellow flowers. I already have a hammer. A real one. I have screwdrivers, pliers, wire cutters, a screw gun etc. This hammer is NOT in my toolbox. This sissy thing is hidden in a kitchen drawer so my real tools don't get a complex :)

33) The worst present was *I hate fur* a little cat made with dead rabbit fur... to me it was like giving me a dead cat. I was not happy.

34) The worst gift I ever got was a pair of florescent orange and pink striped leg warmers with a sweatshirt to match.

35) The worst gift I have ever received? Well there have been a few but the worst one for me would have to be this last Christmas. I was given a hand. I kid you not, a pot hand, and that’s not even the worst part. it is covered in butterflies which I have a massive phobia of. As I don't want to offend the person that gave me it, it’s on a shelf with a glove on it, which I get someone to take off when they come to visit. You never know in the very near future one of my dogs might just ‘accidentally’ knock it off the shelf, which naturally I will be devastated about.

36) I think the worst gift I ever received was the time I got for my birthday a bright orange shirt. It would have been ok if it was a) the correct size and b) I did not have bright red hair, and a pale complexion... to say the least all that was noticed was the orange shirt. I bet you could see it 5 miles away. Yes, I wore it... it’s what I call an act of love.

37) Gee… I have a lot of things I have always thought were crappy gifts. Like getting clothes for Christmas or birthdays each. Who wants clothes bought for them when the items are not your taste? I weigh a lot, I really don’t want to say how much but lets just say if I were to attach a long cord to me and slap a sign on my butt that said good year I could be their new blimp. With that in mind who buys someone who looks like that a t-shirt with stripes going horizontal??? Makes you look a whole lot fatter! That has to be the worst clothes gift I have gotten so far... from my sweetheart!!

38) My brother gave me a two pound box of Fanny May candy. It was the mixed assortment and I don't eat any nuts or chocolate covered fruit. So, out of this fantastic two pound box, I could eat 6 pieces (the caramels and Trinidads).
The second worst was a two-piece outfit I got when I was 12. It looked like a faux scarecrow outfit, fake denim with straw pieces as the fabric pattern. The same person gave me 5 pairs of socks the next year (another winning gift).

39) A few years ago my husbands (Marty) best friend (Jim) gave him an ugly set of John Deere tractor mugs. It took me forever to get rid of them. So guess what Jim gave Marty for Christmas? Another set of John Deere Tractor mugs. Jim said they are "collectables". Collectables??? Not in my house! So now I need to figure out what to do with these mugs. Any takers? They come with an added bonus of hot chocolate and coffee.

From The In-Laws… Yikes!

40) The worst gift I ever received was from my in laws. For one Christmas about 12 yrs ago they gave me an 8x10 photocopied picture of a sketch of a laughing Jesus head. It was framed in one of those 2 for $2.50 cheapy frames from the Dollar store. You could even see the black edge of the picture because they didn’t get it quite straight when they went to Walmart to get it copied. They admitted that to me too. My husband got a $50 check. I don’t think they like me very much, even after 30yrs. I mean really what do you say to someone who gives you a crooked laughing Jesus head picture? I am all for Jesus laughing and everything but come on....
I did find a picture of it and I attached it to this email. Here is what the site says about it.... If you're looking for some religious art, big enough to be the centre of attraction in a large area, the 23 x 35 paper poster for $40,00 will fill the bill... We produce this as a screen print done by hand, and if you matt it and frame it, this picture will bless and inspire people for many years to come. Now it did inspire a lot from me but it never made the centre of attention except in my sons closet and as a gag gift for my bowling team.

41) My worst gift is a little different because it isn't as though the gift was horrible. What happened was, I make a really awesome homemade sangria but was using a short, round pitcher and you really need a tall glass one (if you want the recipe, let me know and I would be happy to share) because you need to be able to see through it to mix everything
well. Christmas was approaching and I put the pitcher - with detailed descriptions of my requirements - on my list. My mother-in-law who is an absolutely wonderful woman, chose to get me the pitcher (I did mention the detailed description of the pitcher, didn't I?). I must mention that in addition to being wonderful, she is very comfortably well off so keep in mind, price was not the issue. Christmas day came and we were celebrating it at my sister-in-law's home where we each take turn opening a gift so everyone can enjoy it. My two sister-in-laws had received some wonderful items - sweaters, purses, tools (the younger one is a do-it-yourselfer) and I had received calendars (my birthday is January 3rd and my record is 13 calendars between Christmas and my birthday) and a magazine subscription. I was really looking forward to opening the large, beautifully wrapped box from my mother and father-in law. Finally, it was my turn and my mother-in-law was thrilled. Inside the beautiful wrapping was a lovely box, which I opened carefully. Inside the beautiful box was lots and lots of packing peanuts. I was SO excited - I just knew it was my glass pitcher. What lovely wrapping! Would it be Waterford, perhaps - I had just seen one at the Gabriel Brother's where I do my "super saver" shopping. Excitement grew until I pulled out something wrapped carefully in bubble wrap - it WAS a pitcher. I was almost shaking, I was so excited, when I carefully unwrapped the pitcher - really, should Waterford be THIS light - to find, a straight, plain, clear plastic pitcher with the $1.84 price tag from Bed, Bath and Beyond still affixed. My mother-in-law was so pleased to announce that not only did she get it for $1.84 but she used her 40% coupon on it!
Well, thanks to proper etiquette training as a child - and with some gentle pokes from my husband who was a little concerned over the glazed look in my eyes - I managed a (mostly) sincere smile and a thank you. Of course, I thought my sister-in-laws would laugh themselves sick over it. Especially when my mother-in-law asked if that wasn't what I wanted and my husband said, "Actually, she asked for glass." I couldn't kick him because I was covered head to toe in gorgeous gift-wrap, packing peanuts and bubble wrap with my white knuckled hands clutching the $1.10 pitcher. My mother-in-law was a little confused when my husband assured her he had included my detailed description in the email with my list. I assured her I appreciated the thought and my husband ended up buying me a pitcher at Target. My mother ended up inheriting my plastic pitcher but I have never forgotten it. My lesson - beware assuming the best wrapped gift lives up to its wrapping.

42) The worst gift I ever received was the ugliest chip and dip bowl from my sister-in-law for my birthday. Yes, I make the world's best avocado dip and she knows it. I suppose it was to pay homage to that BUT it was this porcelain crazy french chef character that was at least 20"x20" by a foot high. I have an already stuffed full house with NO storage space left and she gives me a odd looking, use once in a while thing that I have to STORE SOME-PLACE?!!! She soooo doesn't know me or my taste. I break everything trying to wash them. Can you imagine me trying to clean the HUGE thing? And she spent money shipping this from Southern California to Oregon... I'd rather have a gift card. I gave it away at a white elephant gift exchange. PERFECT!

43) This by should beat anyone. A couple of years ago and this past Christmas as well. My brother and sister-in-law, gave me a gift, that I just couldn't believe, I was flabbergasted that they would even give me this gift, I don't know what they were thinking... I received a box of… wait for it, a box of popcorn, the microwavable kind, I don’t know what they were thinking. And along with the box of popcorn was a trial size lotion…what..!!!!

44) The worst gift I ever received was a salad spinner for Christmas from my Mother - in - law. I knew then what she thought or did not think of me. It only got worst until I finally told her that I did not really need to receive a gift.

Who Needs Enemies With Friends Like This?!

45) The worst gift I ever received was a tissue paper with a smiley face on it. I looked at it and my friend had said "happy birthday". Sadly, it really was my birthday and the tissue looked used. That was two years ago...I got rid of the tissue that day. It was disgusting.

46) My worst birthday present would be when my best friend said that she couldn't come to my party because she was having her birthday party the day before mine. Later that night I got a phone call from her and the girls that she had invited to her party, saying that my friend was going out with the guy that she knew I liked. She had been going on about how she hated him and then all the sudden, "Happy birthday to me… NOT!!" I was so mad at her, but what made me get over it was the next day, after the phone call, I ran into the guy I liked and asked if he was really going out with her, and he said that he only said Yes to shut her up… LOL. That was the only reason I forgave her. That's my worst birthday present. I don't care if I win, but I still think this is pretty bad.

From Colleagues…

47) The worst present I have ever had was 2 years ago on my 50th birthday. My friends at work had made a big deal of it and had decorated my door to the office. It was a great day until one of our co-workers who was in the hospital died. Now on my birthday that is all I can think of. What a sad day it turned out to be.

48) My worst gift was at a Christmas exchange party. I got this big, heavy beautiful box with fancy wrap and ribbon. I just knew something good was inside. BUT... I was in for a shocking surprise. Inside was a huge moldy phone book with an old, moldy bra on top. Talk about embarrassing. And the bra wasn't even my size!! Talk about being surprised and very disappointed.

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